


Far Apart

by CrazyButterLoverSky



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Gay, Gay Panic, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 15:26:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17144297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyButterLoverSky/pseuds/CrazyButterLoverSky
Summary: When we are far apart, we crash. When we are together, we are brave. So why stay away?- Sky





	Far Apart

Ryan’s first memory was of someone telling him that he was destined for greatness. 

 

It wasn’t exactly a memory, but a whisper in the night, and during all hours of the day, that kept him going. 

 

He was destined for greatness, and he was going for it at top speeds. 

 

\--- 

 

He first met Shane when they were interns. He smiled nicely, and was funny. Ryan didn’t talk to him. 

 

Almost every day after that, he saw him. During the internship he was seen going down the halls, and after that he just generally saw him wandering about. Coffee shops, grocery stores, and on the way to work, he just knew that Shane was there. 

 

This, of course, was before Buzzfeed Unsolved. 

 

When his other partner left the Unsolved team, Ryan felt like he was on the edge of a cliff, staring down into nothing. And across the cavern, beyond where he was, he could see the goal. 

 

So when he saw Shane next around the office, he asked for him to join the crew. And when he said yes, Ryan almost hugged him, but instead spent the rest of the day beyond happy. It was as if someone told him he was getting a pony, only the pony was his dreams. 

 

Of course, he was still nervous, but he may finally have a chance at changing everything. 

 

And of course, Shane helped. Man, how he managed to laugh in the face of terror almost every time there was trouble, he didn’t know, but it’s probably saved his life at some point. 

 

And almost suddenly, they were partners in crime, going into potentially ghost and demon filled places and coming out with almost nothing. 

 

Then, there was Hannah’s house. There was so much evidence there, and Ryan went on about it for hours after they left work (and when had that happened? When did they start leaving work together?) as Shane smiled gently. 

 

Now, it was time to research the next place to visit. 

 

\--- 

 

Ryan stares at the road ahead of them, talking excitedly about the new case. And this one was fascinating. Murders, demons, dolls, the woods, and even a rundown house, the whole deal. He was all but vibrating in his seat while going over the details, Shane beside him occasionally humming along to the radio playing. They were driving to a new location, Shane listening patiently, only making the occasional quip. 

 

And right on que, he says something about the wind, and ghosts, and random facts that he connects to whatever is happening. 

 

Ryan smiles, and makes a joke back at him. It instantly soothes the nerves he didn’t even realize he was dealing with, and while Shane quickly looks away from Ryan to drive into the other lane, he shoots him a thankful smile. 

 

He looked down before Shane looked back at him, but he could almost swear that Shane smiled when he did. 

 

But that was nonsense, since Shane couldn’t see him. 

 

That didn’t stop it from bugging him. 

 

Because, you see, this has happened before.

 

And the theories just kept getting wilder. 

 

There was, of course, all the times when Shane showed up right when Ryan needed him, without Ryan sending the text. Or the gold tint that sometimes took over his deep brown eyes, especially in scary places or after Ryan returns from locations he went to alone. Or hell, the fact that Ryan at least saw the man daily for upwards of 3 years at this point. 

 

And, of course, Shane giving looks at nothing, or simply reacting to things he couldn’t, shouldn’t be able to see. 

 

And how could he forget the fact that his co-host is almost offendingly handsome! He just appeared one day, strutting his stuff and making jokes to everyone, while Ryan was just  _ not _ doing any of that. He was almost everything that Ryan wanted, except that he was, well. 

 

He was a guy, and Ryan was not allowed to like guys. The people in his old life made that abundantly clear. 

 

Shane patted his shoulder, sending a shock through Ryan, who jumped and stared at the man who- 

 

_ Okay universe,  _ he thought,  _ we get it. He’s pretty, we  _ know _ , please stop making the rest of us feel bad.  _

 

Cause there he was, in all his glory, with the sun behind him all but making the guy look like a literal angel. 

 

He blinked dumbly at Shane, who looked both worried and on the edge of laughter. “Hey man, you doing okay there? Did this place spook you so bad that you-” Ryan swiftly interrupted, not wanting to be teased for his (perfectly rational) thinking. “I’m not scared!” He sat up straight, and saw the car was stopped. So he stepped out, and saw TJ standing there, who shot him a wink before setting up the equipment. Ryan blinked, confused, before Shane entered his field of vision. Suddenly nothing really bothered him about the wink, cause Shane sent him his own wink, before patting his shoulder and walking to help the others. 

 

Ryan stood there, blinking and bright red, the spot that Shane touched feeling like it was burning, but not in a bad way like usual. 

 

Ryan shook his head, and moved to get his own gear. 

 

He had a bad feeling about this place. 

 

\--- 

 

“I knew it!” Ryan screamed as he ran down the halls, the doll that was chasing him crawling along the walls. 

 

He ran into a room, and proceeded to close and lock the door, before backing up to the other end of the room, breathing erratically. 

 

He leapt out of his skin when a voice came from beside him. He whipped around, staring at a concerned Shane, when the room was empty when he ran in. 

 

But that didn’t matter, cause the doll was now scratching at the door, whispering about “the holy one”. 

 

He felt hands on his shoulders, but couldn’t process beyond that, as his brain had decided that he must want to focus on the fact that the doll was talking, and breaking down the door, and was talking specifically to Ryan. 

 

After all, its creepy ass head moved on its own when Ryan walked by it, and now it chased him when he went through the almost-mandatory attempt at going through the house alone. 

 

While on the topic, how did Shane get into the building this far, when this hallway had one entrance, and Ryan had ran through it just before he went into the room? 

 

He tried to ask Shane, but all that came out were sobs. 

 

The door splintered. Ryan felt his life flash before his eyes when a shadow destroyed the door. He tried to scream and run, but Shane kept his hands on Ryan’s shoulders. 

 

Then, a bright golden flash went off behind him, and the shadow disappeared. 

 

Ryan fainted to the sound of Shane, worried and keeping his hands on Ryan’s shoulders. 

 

\--- 

 

Ryan woke up with a gasp in his room, alone. He looked around, breathing heavily. 

 

_ Where is Shane? _

 

He stumbled up onto his feet, and is met with Shane. 

 

Who was definitely  _ not _ in the room just a few seconds prior. And the door squeaks, so how in the world did Shane get in? 

 

He breathes, and Shane breathes, and all they do is stare at each other. Ryan has no idea what’s going on in Shane’s head, but currently he is torn between running up to his friend and giving him a hug to make sure he’s real, and running away from any and all touch. 

 

So instead he stands there, like an idiot, staring at Shane and wishing that he- 

 

He didn’t even know what he was wishing for, but he was sure as hell wishing for it. 

 

He flinched when Shane moved, but didn’t move further. He watched him with his eyes, watched him put some food down on his bed and sitting down on the bed. He sent Ryan a kind, familiar smile, and Ryan could feel himself relax minisculely, but he still couldn’t move.

 

The dream flashed across his mind. Hands reaching out to touch him, to hurt him, to do much worse than he could imagine. Whispers of decay and rot, a grin that came straight from hell, and the inability to breathe. 

 

He felt like he was drowning, and when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he almost screamed and instead jumped back, falling to the floor when he slipped. He stared at Shane, who looked even more worried, then moved his gaze to his shoulder, which was still burning. His breathing was erratic, and his vision swam.

 

All he could do was curl into a ball, and remember the thing that chased him. 

 

\--- 

 

He came back to reality to Shane talking beside him. Not touching him, just whispering about something. He slowly realized that he was talking about the show, and soon the conversation shifted to what happened after the house. It had been about 2 days since the house, and Shane had been talking to other Buzzfeed employees about Ryan. He said that Ryan almost got hurt, and was recovering. He stayed silent about everything else. 

 

Ryan made a whimper, and Shane went quiet, before asking quietly, “Do you need anything?” 

 

_ A hug _ , was his first thought, but instead he just shook his head. Shane almost looked sad and disappointed. 

 

All Ryan could see was that strange light that surrounded him before he fainted. So he did what any sane person would.

 

He asked about it.  

 

“Shane, what was with the doll? Also, the light, what was with the light?” 

 

He answered quickly, too quickly. Almost mushed his words together. “There wasn’t any light or doll Ryan. Remember, we went to the woods?”

 

Ryan turned and peered at Shane, who was smiling sadly. And he squinted, trying to remember through the strange haze over his mind that appeared suddenly. 

 

“No- well, yeah, we did go through the woods. But then we went to the house, and we separated for the solo bits, and I almost died!”

 

Shane blinked, and his frown deepened. “Ryan.”

 

“Nope!” 

 

“What?” 

 

“We went into the house, you even were the one who closed the door!” Ryan could feel his mind become clearer, and remembered details of the night. The woods that seemed too silent, the gashes in wood that no one had mentioned, and finally investigating the house. The doll room, the kitchen, the bedrooms. 

 

Then the fucking doll came to life, and Ryan almost felt silly. But he really was terrified that it was fake, and he was going insane. 

 

Shane just sighed and stood up, before muttering something about coffee and leaving. Ryan stared after him, before sighing and getting up, deciding to take a shower and ignore the hollow feeling in his chest. 

 

\---

 

They were back at the office, and they got enough footage for the episode. 

 

And, wouldn’t you know it, the footage from after Ryan entered the house was fubared. Complete static, and TJ even said that Shane just up and went into the house once the footage got even slightly messed. 

 

So why was Shane lying to him? 

 

It got to the point that a week later, they were both ignoring each other. And that was doing bad things to Ryan. 

 

First, he went from very little touch to absolutely no touch. He was losing sleep from feeling stir crazy, forced to barely acknowledge the fact that his skin burned, even with the lack of touch. He was going crazy from the empty feelings and lack of sleep, which lead to the second point. 

 

Second, he couldn’t sleep. His insomnia was at a record high for him, he couldn’t get any sleep. He just forced himself to keep working and avoiding sleep as best as he could. Nightmares plagued his waking life, images of Shane leaving, or worse, left him shaking and nearly crying. He was left wondering when he had gotten so emotional. 

 

And third, he lost the thought. 

 

“I am destined for greatness”. He sure didn’t feel it, and it seems that now that he might lose his pride and joy, his best friend, and maybe even his job, that even the voice that stood with him through everything had abandoned him. 

 

He felt, for a lack of a better word, hollow. 

 

And the worst part? Shane looked like he was doing fine. And Ryan couldn’t even look properly at the bastard. 

 

So maybe that was why he was hiding in an empty room at the office, headphones on and editing like his life depended on it. And avoiding looking too closely at either of them. 

 

So when someone tapped his shoulder, he flinched hard enough that his headphones clattered to the floor, and gasped in pain. 

 

And after he saw who had come, he felt angry. 

 

“Hey, Ryan.” Shane said, looking fine overall. Ryan glared at the wall behind him, and didn’t speak.

 

And his heart ripped in two when Shane deflated. He almost looked average sized, with all of him bunched up against Ryan’s stare. Shane’s gaze flickered to the screen, and it showed a screen of the two of them, happy. 

 

Ryan looked away when Shane tried to meet his eyes. He also tried to ignore the flicker of hurt in his, well, everything. 

 

Shane began speaking again. “Look, Ryan, I need to talk to you.” 

 

Ryan felt his heart squeeze. But he just put on the headphones in an act of bitter rage. Because he was the one ignoring him, why does he get to just waltz in and try to beg Ryan back? 

 

Listen, he was tired and sick. He was literally going crazy, you gotta cut him some slack. 

 

Shane just swore, and started pacing as if Ryan wasn’t sitting there trying to work. They both sigh, before Shane left the room. 

 

\--- 

 

This repeats, each location bringing them dangerously close to being overheard. As if that would stop Ryan from being bitter and hollow. 

 

And people noticed, of course they noticed. Shane was begging for a conversation, and Ryan just didn’t talk unless necessary. It didn’t matter what it was about, or who it was, Ryan just stopped. 

 

Tried to ignore the many aches and pains, especially in his heart. 

 

Of course, he did what he had to. But he was almost a robot, just doing what was needed. 

 

And yet, all he could think of was Shane. Most of the thoughts barely made sense, but it was what his brain focused on. The dangerous thoughts, the heart breaking thoughts, even this one weird thought. 

 

_ Shane is an angel _ . 

 

And the fucked up thing is, is that it almost made sense. The golden lights, the protectiveness, moving quickly, almost teleporting, and the ability to lie. Demons couldn’t lie, not from what he knew about them. Twist words, yes. But able to lie? Almost impossible. 

 

And Shane is definitely able to lie. 

 

But Ryan just couldn’t figure out what he could want with him. 

 

And why Shane kept trying to talk to him. 

 

Ryan tossed feverishly on his bed, trying his best to not think of his friend, when a bang came to his thoughts. 

 

He laid there for a few seconds, trying to figure out what it could be, before realizing that it was his door. 

 

Duh. 

 

He stumbled up, intent on telling whoever was there to fuck off, but he didn’t even get the chance. The door opened before he could get to it, and Helen stormed in with a confused looking Shane behind her. Ryan blinked when the door slammed shut behind the two intruders, and sighed while turning to go to the living room. 

 

He really didn’t want to talk, but knowing his ex, it would be unavoidable. 

 

So he sat down, and waited for the other two to come in. He huddled in the blanket on the chair, and didn’t look up from the floor. 

 

Helen started the conversation. 

 

“Okay, so either someone died or you two are fighting, and it’s honestly a bit hard to tell at this point.” Shane said that he tried to get Ryan to talk to him. Ryan stayed silent. 

 

The conversation stopped, as if they were waiting on him. He tried to not cry, and stayed silent. 

 

A hand almost landed on his shoulder, but Shane said that it wasn’t a good idea. 

 

The hand moved away. 

 

Footsteps echoed across the apartment as Helen started to pace, both people sending worried looks to Ryan, who was still not saying anything. 

 

Finally, Helen snapped. 

 

“Ryan, what the hell! Say something, anything! You’re acting like someone killed a puppy, but at this point I’m worried that you are the puppy and someone beat you!” She moved in front of him, and knelt down to meet his eyes. He averts his eyes away from her. 

 

But clearly not fast enough, because apparently she can read everything on his mind. 

 

She stays still, looking thoughtful, before whispering, “What did you do to him?” 

 

Ryan froze, but the question wasn’t directed at him. 

 

Shane didn’t say anything for a few seconds, before he said, “I don’t know.” His voice was quiet, and sad, and it made Ryan feel even worse. 

 

Ryan curled even more into the blanket, and the tears start falling. 

 

Two harsh gasps follow the tears, and soon enough he’s sobbing. 

 

He still hasn’t said anything. He hides behind his arms, and tries to make as little noise as possible. The air seems to be impossibly heavy. 

 

Finally he sobs out, “you left me” in a small, broken voice. 

 

He hates his voice, so he tries to not speak any more. But it’s enough, as Helen stands up and marches to Shane, but suddenly Shane is in front of him.

 

“Can I touch you?” 

 

_ Yes!  _

 

He shakes his head no. Shane makes a horrible, horrible noise, like someone had punched him. And then he just sat there, curling onto his knees, and whispered. 

 

It took a bit to realize that Shane was apologizing. It broke his heart, and he wanted to leave and stay, comfort and hurt, and he was too overwhelmed. He couldn’t hide anymore. 

 

His heart and mind fought against each other, his heart begging for the chance to help the man in front of him, and his mind screaming so much. 

 

Voices from his whole life, hands touching him, a broken heart from a lie. He sniffled and started wiping at his face, unable to breathe. 

 

He realized that he was laughing. 

 

He couldn’t see, the tears and dirty glasses making it impossible, but he knew that they were staring at him. 

 

And he was just… hollow. He felt depressed because of his best friend lying and leaving him and he just didn’t want to be alone anymore. 

 

_ You don’t deserve anything else, f- _

 

He stumbled over his laughter, choking on the word. 

 

He squeezed his eyes shut, whispering to himself. He didn’t know what, but he said it like a prayer. As if he was on his last breath and these words were air. 

 

A gentle hand appeared in front of him. A familiar one. The hand slowly moved to place it on his hands, and he couldn’t move. 

 

The hand made contact, a shot of electricity went through him, and he quieted. 

 

Ryan and Shane sat there like that for a long time. 

 

\--- 

 

They sat on the couch now. 

 

There was still layers of fabric between him and Shane, but it was still sending electricity through his body. Their hands were still holding onto each other, and it was burning a bit, but there was no way he was going to let go now. Not yet. 

 

Helen sits in the chair where he once sat, but had been moved to sit near Shane. 

 

Speaking of, Ryan kept his grip firm on the other man’s hands. Or was more likely strangling his hands, but Shane didn’t complain, and Ryan didn’t let go. 

 

Once Ryan had settled down, Helen leaned back, and sighed. “Shane.” She started, but then hesitated. But he nodded anyways, and Helen stood up. “I’ll be in the kitchen. Avoid making out please.” She teased, but Ryan still tensed, hearing many different forms of the same few words. 

 

He smiled and nodded, but it felt fake. And by Helen’s expression, it looked just as fake. 

 

After she left, Shane sighed, and whispered, “I could have sworn that she was about to eat my soul a few times.” Ryan blinked, and then softly snorted, which surprised him. 

 

How long since he had last laughed? He thinks back, and- oh. 

 

It’s been about a month. Almost a month since he had last laughed. 

 

Which made him whisper, “You lied to me.” Shane sighed, and he turned to see him looking at the floor, clearly troubled. 

 

“I didn’t want to…” He sighed again. “I didn’t want you to get involved in this, before you were ready.” 

 

Ryan felt like he could feel question marks floating around his head. But then his eyes widened. 

 

“Wait, you’re..?” Golden light, lies, golden eyes, teleporting. 

 

Shane nodded, and Ryan could swear he could see the shadow of wings behind Shane. Ryan’s eyes widened, and his mouth started talking without permission. “Well, that makes a lot of sense.” He mumbled, and the angel snorted. “Does it?” Shane turned to look at him, and he looked sad and yet so relieved. As if he was expecting the worse. 

 

Ryan felt his mouth move into a wide grin, and he could feel the hollowness recide just a bit. “Yeah dude, it wasn’t obvious but I feel like the teleporting was a bit much.” He teased, and Shane sent him a happy glare. Could a glare be happy? Ryan didn’t know, but if it could, this is what it would look like.

 

“Oh, shush you. It’s not like you realized.” Ryan rolled his eyes, and drawled, “Well…” He could feel the smile grow at Shane’s offended gasp. “ _ No. _ ” 

 

“Yep!” Ryan chirped, and laughed when Shane pushed him. 

 

For the first time in a while, he felt like things would be okay. 

 

\---

 

“Why did you leave me?” 

 

After they both calmed down a bit, Ryan asked the question on his mind. Shane just sighed, and leaned back against the couch before closing his eyes. 

 

“Honestly?” Ryan nods at the possibly rhetorical question. “Because I didn’t think it’d hurt you so much if I left.” 

 

Ryan stares, slack-jawed, at Shane. “You didn’t…” He muttered in disbelief. He didn’t think it’d hurt this much? 

 

Then again, if Ryan was being honest, he didn’t think it’d hurt this much either. 

 

Shane looked at him, and that look broke his heart. 

 

“Ryan, I know this may be a bad time, but are you…” He hesitates, and Ryan feels the fear come back full force.

 

“I’m not-” He says, before realizing that Shane hadn’t finished talking. He licks his lips, and looks away, but doesn’t finish. 

 

He can’t- He can’t do this. 

 

Shane looks at him as he says, “I’m sorry.” and tries to pull away. 

 

Shane doesn’t let go. 

 

Ryan tries to pull away casually, but quickly becomes frantic when Shane doesn’t let go. “Please…” He whispers, accidently looking at Shane. He looks like someone stomped on his heart with steel toes, but he still doesn’t let go. 

 

Ryan bursts into tears. Loudly. 

 

Helen comes in to a tearful Ryan, and a very confused and worried Shane, who still hasn’t let go, but at this point Ryan doesn’t really want him to let go. 

 

Helen whispers something, before coming over and kneeling, looking at the two men. 

 

“Ryan, what’s the matter?” She spoke softly, and her her hands were hovering above the two men’s. 

 

He shook as he turned to look at his ex. She was scared, clearly, but he couldn’t bring himself to say what was yearning to be accepted. 

 

Because of the ever-present ‘What if’. What if he lost them, hurt them, or worse. 

 

What if they hated him. 

 

He gasped and shook his head, pushing his lips together in an attempt to hide the feelings. 

 

He could barely hear what they were saying, let alone who they were saying it to. 

 

Because he was thinking, and remembering, and those two things are never good because then he- 

 

He says it. 

 

“Faggot.” 

 

“Excuse me?” Shane looked appalled as he spoke, Helen right beside him. 

 

Ryan sobbed as he said, “I- I’m a-” A hesitant breath, but it's not enough and he’s desperately pulling at air but it’s not  _ enough _ . 

 

And the moment lasts too long, before the words come out of Shane’s mouth. “Gay?” He mumbled, much gentler than anyone before him. 

 

Ryan shook as he averted his eyes, taking in a worried Helen before he squeezed his eyes shut, and jerked his head into a pale imitation of a nod. 

 

They all sit there, as Ryan waits for the fateful blows. Until his tears run out, and he can slowly breathe again. 

 

And Shane is still holding his hands. 

 

The burning hot had slowly become an near-overwhelming warmth, and Ryan became fascinated with their hands. 

 

He wouldn’t let himself hope that much, but Shane holding his hands was a good thing, right? Unless he was planning on hurting him horribly, but Shane didn’t seem like that kind of person. But- 

 

Shane squeezed his hands gently, and Ryan jerked his head up to see a worried face, and he is drowning in confusion because why would they be worried, he’s right in their trap- 

 

“Ryan.” Shane says, eyes staying focused on his face. Ryan takes a shaky breath in, and out, and the thoughts seem to drift away for a bit, before reality hits him. 

 

They know, and they didn’t hurt him while he was prone. 

 

So what were they planning?

 

Shane’s smile turns shaky, and he leans forward a bit, just enough to see Ryan’s face. 

 

“Ryan, if you’re okay to talk, squeeze once.” 

 

_ … what? _

 

He squeezes once, and Shane all but sags in relief. And he shoots him a small grin, and Ryan does sag. 

 

No one had smiled at him like that before. Not when he told them. 

 

Ryan almost was sent into another panic, but that was luckily evaded by the question. 

 

“Where are we?” He asked, and Ryan blinked before answering. “My apartment..?” Shane nodded. 

 

They continued like that, Shane asking about facts to calm Ryan down, and Ryan answering shakily. 

 

After a while of this, Shane brought out the big questions, after making sure Ryan was okay with it first. 

 

“You’re… gay?” Shane asked hesitantly, and Ryan almost flinched at the word. But he still nodded, even though he felt sorta like a robot doing so. Helen was beside him now, speaking. 

 

“But you and I were dating…” She said, and Ryan furrowed his eyes. “Yeah… I don’t- I’m not-” He ruffles at his hair, frustrated. He genuinely loved Helen, but he’s also pretty sure he really likes Shane. But the problem with that is… 

 

“I don’t think it’s possible to like both genders?” He mumbles, mostly to himself. But when Shane barks out a very surprised laugh, he turns to him and is met with a very incredulous look. 

 

Shane sputters out, “Have you never heard of bi?” 

 

And that just kinda jerks Ryan’s world to a halt. 

 

“Bi..?” The words felt foreign to Ryan, and he can’t stop staring at Shane. 

 

Shane looks lost, and a quick glance shows Helen to look just as lost. 

 

“Ryan…” Shane starts, before sitting up straight and staring at him. “Bisexual,” Ryan furrows his eyes in confusion, and Shane continues. “Is when you are sexually attracted to two or more genders.” A flicker of recognition floats through Ryan’s brain as he recalls strange conversations between people online, and he nods a bit. 

 

Until it dawns on him what that means. 

 

“Wait, am I-” 

 

“Well, it would make sense.” Helen says, leaning forwards and smiling a bit. “I know you in love, and I’ve seen it twice now. Once with me, and once with…” Ryan whips around, only to see her wink at him before turning to a very confused Shane. “Well, I won’t say.” Both men glared at her. On the other hand, she was holding back laughter. “But!” She says before anyone can talk. “What I do know is that it’s a man.” 

 

This sends a small shock through Ryan. “Wh- wait.” He stutters out. “How do you-” He cuts himself off, before shaking his head. “No, I’m not- I can’t-” Shane squeezes his hands, and Ryan… 

 

He can’t process, or understand, or do anything about this situation. Because his whole life all he knew was… 

 

“... What do I do.” He whispered. And this time, Shane spoke. “Well, first we avoid this whole mess again, I’d say.” That got a surprised laugh from Ryan, who wasn’t sure that they heard. 

 

He turned to Shane, and smiled, squeezing his hands. 

 

This time, things are going to be alright. 

 

\--- 

 

_ Fuck _ . 

 

_ How in the world did I get here?  _

 

He laid in bed with Shane, it was the next morning, and Ryan couldn’t move. 

 

After some more talking, Helen left, and Ryan remembers expecting Shane to leave too. 

 

Instead, now they were here, and Shane was pretty much cuddling the poor man, who tried his best not scream, or worse, cuddle closer. 

 

Of course, because Ryan apparently liked this (maybe) immortal being, he was studying his best friend’s face. He- 

 

He was enchanted. Just by the fact that Shane finally looked peaceful, instead of always smiling or making other exaggerated faces. 

 

Ryan could lay like that forever, but the Shane started waking up, and Ryan panicked until Shane flopped off him and, with his eyes still closed, reached for the bedside table. When his hand met open air, he finally opened his eyes. Squinting, he was clearly trying to find out where he was. 

 

He turned to Ryan, who squeaked. 

 

“Oh.” Shane said, pausing. “I thought that was some kind of dream.” He yawned while Ryan laughed, and whispered, “It sure felt like one.” 

 

This made Ryan pause, before nodding. He remembered after they finished talking, and then he supposed that they went to bed soon after. 

 

He spied a faint blush crawling onto Shane’s cheeks. He squinted, and tried to remember the whole night. 

 

He remembered falling asleep on the couch, which means that more than likely… 

 

He blushed furiously at the thought of Shane carrying him, and turned away. But of course, he was on a bed, which means that his very visible blush was still, in fact, visible. And Shane was still looking at him, and- 

 

Yep, the asshole was laughing. Quietly laughing, but Ryan could still hear him. 

 

“Asshole.” He muttered, still looking away, and blushing even more when the laughter got worse. 

 

He sits up, and remembers that he was wasn’t wearing a shirt just in time to hear Shane cough from behind him. 

 

He whips around to see Shane’s eyes shoot up to meet his own. 

 

Ryan’s positive that the universe is just playing the worst practical joke on him when he spots a very dark blush creeping onto Shane’s face. He stands up, mutters something illegible, and turns to leave, only to be interrupted by Shane. 

 

He turns around at the hand on his arm, and is suddenly wrapped in a hug. A slightly overwhelming, and warm, and really nice hug. 

 

He sinks into the embrace, before something lands on the top of his head. 

 

He freezes, still sinking into the embrace, while Shane mumbles, “Love you”. Into his hair. Which means that he was  _ ohmygodhewaskissinghim. _

 

Shane left, and the door clicked shut behind him. Ryan could still feel the warmth from him, and was still very much frozen. 

 

Until a smile lights up his face, and he goes to get clean. 

 

Questions still cloud his mind, and he ponders on them occasionally. 

 

But now Ryan has Shane, and that changes everything. 

 

\---

 

_ Ryan Bergara, the chosen one of the holy, and Shane Madej, angel of the lord.  _

 

_ They go on many adventures together, learn and grow, and continue to change the world.  _

 

_ But as this story closes, another one opens.  _

 

_ See you then. Partner.  _

 

**_The End._ **

**Author's Note:**

> (Buzzfeed Unsolved Secret Santa 2018)


End file.
